Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
A 3 year old Naruto was in the care of the great sandaime hokage and in training with the great kakashi of the sharingan. This life was filled with expert training of mind, spirit, and physical stuff. So Naruto obviously was very strong for his age and very intelligent.

3 years later....

"hahaha look at the wittle ophwanage gwirl she's all alone now HAHA" said a 8 year old kid who was pushing a 6 year old Yugito around who has been kicked out of the orphanage of Konoha. This Yugito was the container of the demon Nibi and was fully aware of it.
When Naruto saw this he let his 4 years of training guide him. He first asked politely to stop bullying the little girl, then when refused, he warned him about physical force, and when still refused, a half second later the bully and his gang are on the ground crying.
"hi whats your" said a still mispronouncing Naruto. " Go away.... you wouldn't want me around if you knew the truth about" said Yugito. " you know... a pretty fwace lwike that shouldn't cry. and plus you wouldn't happen to be a jinchushimigadoohickey thingy would you?" "yes I am" said Yugito getting ready for a beating. "WOW so am I what do you contain?" "Nibi" "Kyuubi" "i am Uzumaki Naruto" "Nii Yugito" "here I'll take you to my  daddy"
5 minutes later.....
'wow Naruto found a jinchuriki and brought it to me before the Akatsuki could take her without even trying...' thought a copy ninja. " well Naruto she can stay, but as long as you two are friends." "SURE, We'll be bff" 'I wonder if he could be her bf' 'Naruto-kun is so nice and kind and nice and cute' 'I wonder if Yugito would like ramen'
6 years later....
" Ok settle down everyone, that includes you stupid, blind, idiotic fan girls of Sasuke Uchiha" said Iruka. "We have some new students. And I highly assure you just becuase they didn't take the first three years of this academy doesn't mean they are behind. Please welcome Yugito Nii and Naruto Uzumaki!"
And in a poof Naruto and Yugito poofed in to the room. Unenthusiated. " please explain yourself by saying your name, dream, hobbies, likes, and dislikes." In unison they said " hi you know my name so i like training and hate fangirls." Then they took their seats right next to each other. Soon fangirls started squeezing in between Naruto and Yugito and crowded over Naruto. Naruto didn't seem to mind. So the fangirl pop. kept growing until even TenTen and Hinata fell into the fangirl group.
1 year later....
"Ok class I am sorry to say you are no longer my students and will *sniffle* be all grown up. that is if you pass. now get start your tests."......30 min later...."Ok now get in line and start making as many bushins as you can one at a time...first up yugito" Yugito made so many mizu bushins that they all couldn't fit in the room and started leaking to the streets."HOLY COW VERY GOOD" "next up naruto" Naruto made so many shadow clones they leaked outside of Konoha. "There has never been anyone in this village that has made so many clones. All the girls blushed and wet their panties from the front. So the rest did standard job except Sasuke who made one more than standard. Sakura who was the single last fan girl of Sasuke cheered
"ok  so the rookie of the year is....... Naruto Uzumaki with a perfect score which has never been done in history."
Yugito and Naruto were heading home when they got caught by the Anbu. They were summoned by the hokage and they were promoted to chunnin level. This filled Sasuke with anger. 'how come they were so special. I AM AN UCHIHA DAMMNIT I AM GONNA FIND THEIR SECRET!!!'. Back to Yugito and Naruto when they reached home, they went to their only bed which they shared. "Man i wish dad  didn't die." said Naruto. "Naruto I am sure Kakashi-san is very proud of you right now." " Yeah I know".
The Next day.....
"Yugito-san can you make breakfast today i am a little tied up." " Sure Naruto-san" " I am going for a stroll okay?" "K" And so Naruto went off. Naruto was walking when Tenten came and asked him out along with 10000 other girls which all were refused by Naruto.
When he came back he was marked with hair messed up kiss marks everywhere and clothes ripped up. Yugito knew it was a fangirl attack. When Naruto and Yugito was in bed, Yugito got in to her jammys and naruto got into his jammys and puppy hat with ear flaps.
'damn Yugito is so nice to me and she's so good looking too.' 'damn Naruto is so hot i can even make out his 8 packs from his jammys' "Naruto-kun?" (mind the suffix) "yes Yugito-san" "I am a little cold" "Here" Naruto said as he hugged her. Naruto was in heaven with Yugito.
"Now its a little hot. why dont I take your and my shirt off." as she did she stroked Naruto skin. " Oh its a little how down there too." she did the same for pants. When she did she found a lump in his boxers."Oh aroused are we." "wait Yugito-chan" but before he could react, she released his 3/4 foot of a dick right there for her to see. "O naruto" she slipped her panty off too. Soon she started to rub his member to its full extent which is a foot. Naruto started to give himself to her and pushed himself into her. And with one thrust he broke her. They started to make out so hard. Thrusting harder with each pull juices began to mix. Soon they reached climax."NARUTOOOOOO"
Add a Comment:
carnage780 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
just so bad i mean my 5 year old cousin has better grammar than this. STOP WRITING FANFICTION AND LEMONS IF THIS IS HOW THEY WILL COME OUT................................................ just stop. for the love of god stop writing and get a job at McDonald's where all you do is clean the floors with a mop for $10.50/h and you don't need to write anything
LonelyAura Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011
I don't believe I've ever seen such bullshit in my life.

You killed grammar in a cruel and unusual way. And then raped it's children. And don't get me STARTED on the plot.

I'll give you this. The GENERAL idea was okay, but I knew this was going to be bad within the first two sentences. Seriously, Naruto's a complete Sue(Gary-Stue, more like it), the whole thing lacks sense, and it seems to me you just wanted to get to the 'lemon', which was a total fail. Little description, over-the-top, assinine..... Ugh. I hope you've learned to write since you posted this.
LadyOrochimaru47 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011
pretty harsh(and inventive), but I must agree :/

If the person writing at this level was ten or eleven, then all the flaws are somewhat excusable. If the person is writing at this level is in their mid or late teens, then they have no buisness writing at all.
LonelyAura Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011
You know me. :| (Thanks. <<;)

I was writing with far better grammar at that age, even if the content sucked. And WHY would a ten year old be writing lemons? Or attempts at them, anyway. Even if they've improved since then... At least make an edit to this, or a second version?
kk-san Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2009
i agree with doc.

DIE MOTHER F'ERS no offence to you
devilv Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
that was good but the doc is right you rushed it
keyblade96 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2008
kool stroy although i agree with the doc anyways keep me posted when u make part two.
GuyverLycan24 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2008   Writer
not bad I'd give this story a 6 out of 10, I hope you continue it but I hope you take DoctorKyuubi's adive on proof reading and adding more detail to make it longer and flow better beyond that your good.
thegreatshadow Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2008
awesome story! plz continue
PowerofInsanity Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2008
short and a littile jumbled but exteremly well written @ @
biganime40 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2007
damn!!!!!dani!more,more,more,more!dani!oh & make more nautayu story plez!dani!
(>< )
that dosnt kill me
can only make me stronger
scottkeeler Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2010
Rahhel Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2007
It's true you lack description but the idea is really good.
There aren't too many NaruYug fics out there.

The one foot cock is ridiculous. NO woman would agree to sleep with a man like that.
They'd be scared to death.
fanfic-seeker Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2007
DoctorKyuubi Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2007   Writer
The story is good, but your rushing things way too fast,so try to calm down on the story.The story has some grammar issues.And you need to add more detail,and I think your making Naruto super powerful.

That isn't a bad thing but you need to give him flaws too.If you don't the people will interest in this story and nobody wants that.

I'm not trying to be rude,I like your story,but you could learn from these flaws and make the story better!
fanfic-seeker Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2007
Intererest this story?
DoctorKyuubi Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2007   Writer
sorry I have my own flaws as well.I meant to say if you try to proofread your story,the story will be more interesting to people.

Will you be making more?
Add a Comment:

Featured in Collections

naruto by Brigdaddy1

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
September 28, 2007
File Size
5.6 KB


36 (who?)